Prompt: … as I turned my head, the world spun…
Link to Prompt: https://100wc.net/august-19-7/
Story:
The whistle blew, the game stopped. We were playing the netball grand final tying at 11-11, “contact goal keeper goal shooter your ball.” I picked up the ball, bounced it a few times then rose my arms to get ready for a shot. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my side, as I turned my head the world spun. My knees hit the floor, I looked around, and the girl that stood next to me was frozen elbow poking out. “Contact goal ” defense called the umpire. “Are you okay Millie” asked one of my teammates. “Yeah” I spluttered back.
Hi Amelia,
I liked how you used your experience with netball for this story. One thing I think you could work on are using commas. For example when you wrote “contact goal keeper goal shooter your ball” what would of made more sense would have been, “contact, goal keeper, goal shooter your ball” and also, “Contact goal ” defense. The talking marks go after the word defense. Otherwise really good piece like I said at the start the reader can tell that you know what you are writing because of your experience.
Awesome work!
Char