The cupcake

“Ding” went the bell as a family stepped in to a new patissery. “Welcome,” said the woman in the friendliest voice. “What would you like to order?” pie thought Jake cupcakes though Ellie.

“Sit down at a table,” called Tracy.

“Well order,” continued Nick.

They went and sat down at the window sill. “Unfair,” whispered Ellie.

“To right,” continued Jake.

They looked over to their parents and saw them pointing at pastries in the window. “Thanks,” said the cheerful woman.

The family found a metal table under an old oak tree. They gave Jake and Ellie striped bags. “Try it you’ll love it,” Nick said. They bit in to it and their eyes filled with joy “amazing!”   

One thought on “The cupcake

  1. I like your story Amelia, it is short and quite sweet. Also your use of quotation marks is well done.
    A couple of technical things to think of: pie thought Jake cupcakes though Ellie. should probably be on a new line, also it should probably be written as – Pie, thought Jake. Cupcakes, thought Ellie. Also well is we’ll.
    I do wonder about the fact that you didn’t explain that Tracy and Nick were the parents until the last paragraph. Was this done on purpose?
    Finally I really enjoyed the journey you were able to take me, the reader, on in such a short space of time.It went from excitement to disappointment and frustration to surprise and delight. Well done.

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